Whyyy! Damn you people and your Ryan Reynolds obsession. I did wake up this morning and burst our laughing when this was the home screen on my iPhone. 

Douche Bag

Thats all.

Am I the only one that thinks of Andy Bauch when watching this?

Ashley wrote this in about 10 minutes. A little background, her uncle Tommy crashed a boat off the coast of Cape Cod and spend 6 hours floating in the Atlantic until Coast Guard choppers found him.

10 MINUTES! She should be writing childrens books.

Tommy and the Blue

My funny uncle Tommy
Went riding in his boat
He fell into the ocean
And then began to float.

He swam the Cape Cod ocean
For some six hours or more
Because he just could not reach
That shell-filled ocean floor.

Where was his great sea rescue?
Where was his Helicopter?
Who was going to come…
And save my uncle doctor?

Then suddenly a motion,
Beneath his swimming feet!
A big humungus blue fish!
Good enough to eat!

He hopped upon the blue fish
Who carried him to shore
Where Tommy jumped upon the beach
And kissed the sandy floor.

He turned to thank the Blue fish
For saving him from sea
And the blue fish smiled, and turned and said
“You’d have done the same for me!”

They sat and watched the sunset
Tommy and the Blue
Then slowy the great fish turned around
And Tommy, he turned too.

I’m tired now, the Blue Fish said
I’ve had a good long life
Take me home and cut me up,
and feed me to your wife!

So I’ve gotten into the habit of checking Youtube every time I hear a new song. Most of the time its because I want to see the music video, or maybe because I’m too cheap to download it so I listen for free, but recently I have checking out the covers that peopl upload. There are actually a lot of really talented people out there putting stuff on Youtube (not sure if you’ve heard of “Straight No Shooter” who just got a record deal and started out on Youtube).

One of the songs that I’ve been listening to recently is The Weepies – Nobody Knows Me At All. It’s a really good song. I like it a long, and while the original version is awesome, I find myself strangely loving this version too.

There is just something about that girls voice that I find very appealing. It just sounds very pure.

This is another one. Its a cover of Damian Rice – 9 Crimes. I really like this one. Maybe because it sounds just a little but more upbeat than the original but still is very deep.

I have a slight obsession with Audra Mae – Forever Young. I heard it on “Sons of Anarchy” (which is an awesome show). You can hear it on her myspace page. The accapela version is the best.

So in May I flew out to Minneapolis to drive back to Boston with Ollie. I was hella excited, yeah I said hella, for him to come back to Boston, little did I know he would once again LEAVE ME 7 months later. Kinda gay, right! We had a video camera and I took some footage of the trip, footage that I thought was really lame, but Ollie has actually managed to make a damn good video out of it. It was an extremely fun road trip with stops in Chicago and Pittsburg. Anyway, enjoy. Very nice job Ollie BUT I’m taking credit for cinematography.

There is a version on youtube, but the quality isn’t so good, so here is the good version.

http://www.vimeo.com/2226265

This is the YouTube version, just in case you are lazy, but I really recommend checking out the one above -

Dear Red States…

We’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we’re taking the other Blue States with us.

In case you aren’t aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon,Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.
We get 85 percent of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their
children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our
resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country’s fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America’s quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we’re discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.

By the way, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.

Peace out,
Blue States

I’ve been wicked busy but there will be some more posts soon.

Emily I know you can’t live without knowing my every move so you can sleep well tongiht knowing that a new entry is coming soon.

Tonight, I actually said -

“ugh, just break up already!”

“what, who?”

“Spencer & Heidi!”

Damn.

So, hats off to Andy, Taylor, Alex (don’t know you, but you’re funny), Ollie, and the Disney editors that worked on this. I was actually crying when I watched this at work, and I was laughing so hard that I had to leave the office because I was disturbing the grown-ups.

First, watch the original -

Here is the hilarious spoof -

It always pisses me off how important celebs think they are. Like Barbara Streisand. She requested a meeting with the President to discuss the war in Iraq. THE PRESIDENT!!. How big is that woman’s ego! There were a bunch of people in this video that I could not recognize. I had no idea who they were and I gotta say that I’m pretty happy about that.

Also, this video has started a video war. A Jimmy Kimmel vs Sarah Silverman type battle. East coast vs west coast. Tim, Katie, Julia, and the rest of the east coasters, vs Taylor, Andy, Ollie, Alex, Nate and the west coasters. Vorce you can play for either team.

Hats off my west coast friends. You have set the bar high.